*Sebelum gue nulis isi hati gue, dengarkan lagu ini kawan... "Like We Used To" dari A Rocket To The Moon. Ini lagu menceritakan gue. Tapi, yang kata-kata 'She'-nya berubah jadi 'He', yg ada 'him' jd 'her'. Pokoknya, jd seakan-akan yg nyanyi cewek kalo versi gue... ;'(*
I once had a best friend. A guy best friend. I never really understood him, 'cause we were so young when we were attached by 'friendship'. I was 9 and he was also 9. That 'accident' introduction caused that thing we called 'friends'. I was crying all along 'cause I couldn't make any friends. Since, I just moved in. But, he stood there and he tapped my back and said, "Hey, let's learn it slowly. You'll eventually get used to this." and smiled. It was beautiful. Since then, we started to create these little strings between us and we were bonded. I liked him as my first friend. In fact, I loved him for being there for me when I felt so left-behind. But then, things were screwed up between us. It cut all those strings that were attached. He changed, I stupidly stayed the same. But, I realized it wouldn't turn out that great if I stayed. Then, the next thing that happened, we were becoming a stranger to each others' eyes. He didn't recognize me as that girl who was crying and cheered up by him. I didn't see any of a person I used to know in him anymore. And our friendship ended.
I once had a guy best friend. He was awesome, cool, and fun to share things with. And maybe he still is, but not to me. He stepped inside my life a couple days after I began to understand my surrounding. He was nice, friendly, and everything a person wants in a friend. We suddenly clicked to each other once we had this little joke about something. He played the same music instrument as I did. We were in love with violins. He told me things I never knew, such as confidence. But then, things happen. He moved back to where he used to be. Far away. And I went back home. We didn't have our goodbye moments. But, I remember that we took one last picture of our small organization. It was the last time I saw him. He came back eventually, but I didn't. I stayed home and tried so hard to get him to remember who I was when we were still together there. But, it was useless. He didn't remember. Then, all of the friendship and laughs and jokes and stuff we had together gone. Just disappeared like that. And it hurt me so bad.
I had a guy best friend. We'd known each other for about one and a half year. He might not approved that I was his best friend, I approved. We were bonded by a sibling-hood. He was my sorta-big brother and I was his sorta-little sister. We texted each other a lot, told things about us, and pretty much got to know who each other was. We didn't show our 'friendship' in public. I never let him. He never lets me. So, we kept it silent and hidden. Since the day we started to bond, I knew that he wasn't the person people know. He was beyond that. I suggested that we should keep this sibling-hood relationship as long as possible. He said we should keep it forever. I smiled. But, inside I knew that forever isn't as long as it supposed to mean. And it happened. It came true. Our beautiful friendship were broken. The cause was too stupid to be told. But, it sure did make a very big disaster to our friendship. Since then, we stopped what we used to do and we began to forget what we used to be. It's over. And at that moment, I realized that 'forever' is always depend on the person who states it.
I realize things change, time flies, people move on, life grows. I know and I'm living it. But, the fact that all of those has turned into histories of my friendships hurt me the most. If I could replay and start all over again with them, I would do anything to keep the strings that are built stay. Those friendships were all precious. I would never and could never forget that. They may forget, but I'm positive I won't forget. I learn from it and I grow and I move on. Now, I'm having an online best friend. A guy. But, he's cool. I hope I could see him one day face-to-face. He encourages me to chase my dreams, to work hard, and to think that one day we could meet. I just know that it'll happen somehow. What I need to do now is trying to turn it into reality. And I really hope nothing stands between us. I love him as my best friend. He's always there whenever I'm down, sad, not feeling well, excited freaked, scared, happy, and mostly he's always there for me when I need him. I tried and still am trying so hard to do the exact same thing. But, he seems like he understands me more than I understand him, and it's a good thing.
But at last, in the very end, I know things will always go on, change, fly, move on, and grow. I just need to enjoy and keep up with it. But, eventually, I know I'll find a true friend who'll be missed whenever they're not around and who'll also miss me whenever I'm not around. I just know.
*D: Gue terharu baca ini... Apalagi, sambil dengerin lagu itu. Gue kangen. Gue boleh kangen, kan? Gue kangen semuanya, mereka, gue yg dulu, pokoknya gue kangen masa lalu gue yg nggak menyulitkan. Tapi, hidup itu seperti roda yg berputar, akan selalu berputar meskipun orangnya udh nggak kuat ikutan dan bertahan berputar. Gue cuma pengen mereka tau, gue bener-bener kangen... ;'( See you someday...*
I once had a best friend. A guy best friend. I never really understood him, 'cause we were so young when we were attached by 'friendship'. I was 9 and he was also 9. That 'accident' introduction caused that thing we called 'friends'. I was crying all along 'cause I couldn't make any friends. Since, I just moved in. But, he stood there and he tapped my back and said, "Hey, let's learn it slowly. You'll eventually get used to this." and smiled. It was beautiful. Since then, we started to create these little strings between us and we were bonded. I liked him as my first friend. In fact, I loved him for being there for me when I felt so left-behind. But then, things were screwed up between us. It cut all those strings that were attached. He changed, I stupidly stayed the same. But, I realized it wouldn't turn out that great if I stayed. Then, the next thing that happened, we were becoming a stranger to each others' eyes. He didn't recognize me as that girl who was crying and cheered up by him. I didn't see any of a person I used to know in him anymore. And our friendship ended.
I once had a guy best friend. He was awesome, cool, and fun to share things with. And maybe he still is, but not to me. He stepped inside my life a couple days after I began to understand my surrounding. He was nice, friendly, and everything a person wants in a friend. We suddenly clicked to each other once we had this little joke about something. He played the same music instrument as I did. We were in love with violins. He told me things I never knew, such as confidence. But then, things happen. He moved back to where he used to be. Far away. And I went back home. We didn't have our goodbye moments. But, I remember that we took one last picture of our small organization. It was the last time I saw him. He came back eventually, but I didn't. I stayed home and tried so hard to get him to remember who I was when we were still together there. But, it was useless. He didn't remember. Then, all of the friendship and laughs and jokes and stuff we had together gone. Just disappeared like that. And it hurt me so bad.
I had a guy best friend. We'd known each other for about one and a half year. He might not approved that I was his best friend, I approved. We were bonded by a sibling-hood. He was my sorta-big brother and I was his sorta-little sister. We texted each other a lot, told things about us, and pretty much got to know who each other was. We didn't show our 'friendship' in public. I never let him. He never lets me. So, we kept it silent and hidden. Since the day we started to bond, I knew that he wasn't the person people know. He was beyond that. I suggested that we should keep this sibling-hood relationship as long as possible. He said we should keep it forever. I smiled. But, inside I knew that forever isn't as long as it supposed to mean. And it happened. It came true. Our beautiful friendship were broken. The cause was too stupid to be told. But, it sure did make a very big disaster to our friendship. Since then, we stopped what we used to do and we began to forget what we used to be. It's over. And at that moment, I realized that 'forever' is always depend on the person who states it.
I realize things change, time flies, people move on, life grows. I know and I'm living it. But, the fact that all of those has turned into histories of my friendships hurt me the most. If I could replay and start all over again with them, I would do anything to keep the strings that are built stay. Those friendships were all precious. I would never and could never forget that. They may forget, but I'm positive I won't forget. I learn from it and I grow and I move on. Now, I'm having an online best friend. A guy. But, he's cool. I hope I could see him one day face-to-face. He encourages me to chase my dreams, to work hard, and to think that one day we could meet. I just know that it'll happen somehow. What I need to do now is trying to turn it into reality. And I really hope nothing stands between us. I love him as my best friend. He's always there whenever I'm down, sad, not feeling well, excited freaked, scared, happy, and mostly he's always there for me when I need him. I tried and still am trying so hard to do the exact same thing. But, he seems like he understands me more than I understand him, and it's a good thing.
But at last, in the very end, I know things will always go on, change, fly, move on, and grow. I just need to enjoy and keep up with it. But, eventually, I know I'll find a true friend who'll be missed whenever they're not around and who'll also miss me whenever I'm not around. I just know.
*D: Gue terharu baca ini... Apalagi, sambil dengerin lagu itu. Gue kangen. Gue boleh kangen, kan? Gue kangen semuanya, mereka, gue yg dulu, pokoknya gue kangen masa lalu gue yg nggak menyulitkan. Tapi, hidup itu seperti roda yg berputar, akan selalu berputar meskipun orangnya udh nggak kuat ikutan dan bertahan berputar. Gue cuma pengen mereka tau, gue bener-bener kangen... ;'( See you someday...*
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